Distrust Can Cost Everything

Richard Dennis

There’s no doubt it’s valuable to consider the different ways that increasing trust can improve our relationships and our lives.

But maybe the “glass half-empty” approach is worth taking a look at, too. What happens when we totally ignore trust and create distrust?

Margarethe Zelle was born in the Netherlands in 1876. Her mother died when she was 15. Margarethe answered a newspaper ad, responding to an Indonesian-based Dutch army officer looking for a wife. This connection resulted in an abusive marriage and two children, who both died young.

At 27, Margarethe, divorced, settled in Paris and soon gained international fame as an exotic dancer. In the 10 years preceding WWI, she met and romanced powerful men from many countries. Her lovers included military officers, politicians, and the German crown prince. Margarethe adopted a stage name which in Maylay meant “eye of the dawn.” She was celebrated as a great entertainer. It all seemed to work fine for her … for awhile.

Then came the War. Still legally a Dutch subject, Margarethe could freely cross all borders, because the Netherlands stayed neutral. So she did. She visited her lovers, who included military officers from both France & Germany … who were now at war with each other.

In Germany, Margarethe - stage name Mata Hari - was rumored to be a French spy. In France, she was accused and tried for treason, for being a German spy. There was never strong evidence for either case. Mata Hari may well have looked at it all as her game.

But that game quickly spun out of her control. It ended on October 15, 1917, in front of a French firing squad.

Most of us will never face a firing squad, of course. But it’s a good reminder of the emotions that get stirred up when your actions give the appearance of a betrayal of trust. It may or may not have been fact, but emotions far outweigh facts when it comes to people - let alone entire countries - who feel betrayed.

Richard Dennis